The Art of Making Love#3: Sound

If there’s one thing that’s gonna undo me it’s this:

Yep. The dulcet tones of Barry White. Cheesy he may be, but his deep sultry voice just makes my insides go all gooey. He does it for me – Every. Single. Time. And I’m not the only girl who rolls over with her legs in the air the moment Barry whispers a deep, sexy ‘Oh, baby’ in her ear.

Research has proven over and again that women are attracted to men with a deeper pitch to their voice. Researchers at McMasters University, Canada found women interested in short-term relationships are strongly attracted to a men with deep voices. Even though we gals think our bloke with the great radio voice is unlikely to be faithful, we expect him to be good in the sack.

At University College London researchers found that women believed men with deep voices to be large framed and therefore more attractive. AND if his voice is ‘tempered by a touch of “breathiness”’ (a la Barry) women were even more attracted because they perceive him to have a low level of aggression. In our minds all that ‘breathiness’ makes him a Lover, not a Fighter. Check out their sample of their findings - the most attractive male voice:

Sounds a bit like Barry, huh? Can’t you just imagine that voice moaning sexy somethings against your throat?

Years ago, when I was still on the market and young enough to drink Tequila all night while wearing a mini, I had a night of dancing on the narrow bar of a tapas restaurant. The music finished and as I turned around to get down off the bar I felt a pair of strong hands gripping my hips. A man I hadn’t even noticed had been watching me dance and was helping me down. As my feet touched the floor he pressed me against the bar and whispered in my ear,

‘You look amazing up there. I can’t stop imagining you naked with my hands on your arse.’

Forward? Yes. Cheeky? Damned right. Dangerous and tempting? Oh so much more than was allowed.

He was behind me so I couldn’t see his face, but the touch of his breath on my neck, the sound of his deep, deep voice so close to my ear – oh my. You'll be disappointed to know I didn’t take him up on his offer, but afterwards I replayed that moment over and over again. His hands firm and low on my hips, his unfamiliar body strong against my back and the sound of his voice, literally dripping with desire, was the sexual equivalent of a Molotov cocktail.

When you think of sound during sex what springs to mind? Seductive background music?  Loud orgasms faked porn-star-style? Hiding beneath the covers gripping the sound of pleasure behind clenched teeth? Withholding? Muffled control? Sex noise is so much more than any of these things.

Many people become used to being silent during sex. People are often ashamed of or embarrassed by the noise they make during sex and pin their lips for fear their neighbours, their children, their parents might hear. Then silence becomes a habit, so even when they have the freedom to verbally express themselves during sex, they suddenly find they can’t. Their voice is stifled by habitual control. They forget how delicious a well placed moan or word can be. 

In the words of Anna from the movie ‘Frozen’ – Let It Go folks.

It’s an enormous turn-on for your partner when you give your pleasure a voice. Soft, intimate sounds of appreciation during sex can heighten intimacy and signals to your partner what’s working for you. It’s not only reassuring for a lover to hear you respond to their touch, it feeds their arousal. If they are doing something that feels particularly good, let them know by making some kind of noise. You don’t have to shout the roof down like a badly acted porn movie - murmurs, moans, groans, sighs are all part of a good lover’s repertoire.

For the boys - women often feel vulnerable and insecure about their bodies during sex, so affirming statements will help them relax and feel as though you are connected and present with them and not escaping into a silent fantasy world behind closed eyes. Show your appreciation by whispering short endearments like ‘You’re so sexy’ or ‘I love your body’ or ‘I can’t wait to touch/kiss/pleasure/fuck you’. Better yet, ask your lover what they’d like to hear from you during sex.

And if all else fails, take a few cues from Barry ‘cause  - seriously – thqt man's got it down pat. Research proves it and you can't argue with science!


Love the Barry White, even if he's just singing about Chef's sweet, chocolatey balls on South Park ;)

KateBelle.X's picture

Oh yes, I love Chef on South Park. Actually Rhyll, I think that might have been Isaac Hayes - who was also very deep and breathy. And also deceased. I can't think of any deep, breathy male singers to replace either of them. :(

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